Living in New York
[Written in July]
Ian visited last week, and as I showed him around, I remembered why I fell in love with New York City.
I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.
I can eat bulgogi and tofu soup or dim sum at 2 AM.
I can wake up and decide to see some of the best contemporary art in the world.
I can hear one of the best comedians or best jazz guitarists on any given day (or night).
I can take a class on knife making, shoe making, pole dancing, DJing, etc.
If it exists, then it probably exists in New York. Whatever I want, whenever I want.
The city being a world hub also allows for endless transient relationships. People from all over the world visit New York, and I’ll often meet them and exchange contact information on days or nights out. The ephemeral nature of the relationships, whether friendships or romantic interests, adds a certain thrill and intensity. The relationship is on a timer, which forces me to make the most of it in the short allotted time, and gives a natural exit if things waver. Meeting visitors to NYC has given me contacts all over the country and the world.
The density of the city also leads to spontaneous interactions with people you’ll never see again. You’re constantly surrounded by people, from the second you leave your apartment to the second you return. It forces a natural social comfort and charisma out of you, as you’re constantly practicing. It also leads to transient friendships and conversations, such as in line at coffee shops.
The density also brings about the best crossovers. For example, the clubgoers return home around the same time that the running clubs emerge. I’ve seen bodybuilders lift carts onto curbs for old ladies. During fashion week, I end up at the same nightclubs as runway models, with most of the girls towering over me (I’m already six feet tall).
New York brings everyone in the world into one place on equal footing. My friend Vishy told a story where he and his friends went to sing karaoke in East Village one winter weekend. They ended up chatting and singing with another group, and upon further discussion, they realized that the group was the band Snarky Puppies. They were belching Gangnam Style with literally Grammy winners. I’ve personally gotten myself entangled in a matchmaking scheme involving Sima Aunty from Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking, as well as trying to chat up a girl (I failed) who later went viral for dating Toby Maguire (with a very large age difference). I’ve met Neil Patrick Harris, and partied with an MLB player named Carlos (that’s all I know about him). It’s fair game to run into anyone here, and unlike other big cities like LA, the density puts everyone in the same places, regardless of status, wealth, class, age, etc.
The chaos brings people closer together, almost like trauma bonding. When a subway performer enters the subway car and starts doing backflips on the railings, it’s hard not to make eye contact with and giggle or smile with everyone else who was almost kicked in the face. It’s a sense of shared experience and marvel.
In New York, time is compressed. You have a year’s worth of experiences in a month, a month’s worth of experiences in a week, and a week’s worth of experiences in a day. The crazy stories that someone in another place might have in a lifetime, someone here might experience in a week.
The people in New York have forced me to operate at a higher standard. When I lived in SF, I had friends who were brilliant and who I was certain would change the world. In New York, my friends are brilliant - but also athletic, charismatic, well-spoken, social, interesting, beautiful, etc. People here excel at many different parts of life, rather than just one. I learned that it’s possible to do it all, and that it’s worth at least trying to do so.
It isn’t an easy place to live. Everything is expensive, there are rats everywhere, and you often have to work for necessities like groceries and laundry. You’re usually crammed into a shoebox of an apartment, and your A/C might give out once or twice during the summer. Some people are mean, especially doormen and bouncers. But usually, the city will test you on just how much you can take, and then when you need it most, gift you the most incredible experience you could want. You’ll have the worst week at work, and then meet the love of your life. You’ll drop your keys down a drain and have to trek to your landlord for a spare, but then find the most incredible and cute bar on the walk there. You’ll lose a partner but then be consistently let into one of the best clubs in the city.
There are infinite places to explore, and the whole city is filled with hidden gems. “There are thousands of little doors seemingly to tiny little spaces, but when you walk in, there’s a whole world you never knew existed even if you walked by them countless times.” It’s truly the greatest city in the world to live in.